let me tell you a story

Val :: 21 :: MARRIED! to the most amazing woman imaginable :: writer :: teacher of toddlers :: ravenclaw :: nerdfighter :: happy now.

I want to lead a simple life.

9.15.13 [howexciting!] [we did it!]

I'm passionate about nurturing the minds of children and engaging in intellectual conversations.


This is the beginning of something wonderful.


Talk to Me =]  
Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive

tastefullyoffensive:

"We bought alien balloons…" [nomad5]

Reblogged from yes-master-thank-you-master
pollypopit:

relahvant:

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road

bust ya nut and off ya strut

pray

pollypopit:

relahvant:

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road

bust ya nut and off ya strut

pray

(via deewhydeetee)

Reblogged from ultrafacts
Reblogged from sylvia-aliveinnightmares-deacti
Reblogged from quaffle-chasers

"Well we overheard Mum and Dad talking on the Extentable Ears a few weeks back," Fred told Harry, "and from what they were saying, Dumbledore was having real trouble finding anyone to do the job this year

“Not surprising, is it, when you look at what’s happened to the last four [Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor] ?” said George.

"One sacked, one dead, one’s memory removed and one locked in a trunk for nine months," said Harry, counting them off on his fingers. “Yeah, I see what you mean.”

(Source: quaffle-chasers, via expelliarmus)

Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive
Reblogged from 4gifs
chaoscatcher:

Perhaps my favorite drama ever.

chaoscatcher:

Perhaps my favorite drama ever.

(Source: ForGIFs.com)

Reblogged from sarahseeandersen
sarahseeandersen:

My general mood lately.

sarahseeandersen:

My general mood lately.

(Source: sarahseeandersen, via deewhydeetee)

Reblogged from expelliarmus
Reblogged from jedavu

jedavu:

Table Topography: Wood Furniture Embedded with Glass Rivers and Lakes by Greg Klassen

(via erythrai)

Reblogged from mangocarta

(Source: mangocarta, via omnomnominator)

Reblogged from sandandglass

creepyold-kit-hands:

coelasquid:

throughthewildblue:

You cannot buy electronics with food stamps. You cannot buy cigarettes with food stamps. You cannot buy pet food with food stamps. You cannot withdraw money with an EBT card (food stamps).

Do you know what else you can’t buy with food stamps? Shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, tinfoil, plastic sandwich bags, toothpaste, cleaning products, tampons, pads, over the counter medications (such as Tylenol, Ibuprofen, etc.), and anything else you can think of that you cannot physically ingest for nutritional purposes.

Do you know what you can buy with food stamps? Food.

Do you know what it’s like to scrounge for change to buy non-edible necessities, use a credit card and EBT card (food stamps) during the same transaction, and then have the person in line behind you judge you for buying the ingredients to make a birthday cake?

People who disseminate false information about food stamps have never had to use food stamps.

Okay, but let’s talk for a second about how that one lady called turkey “big chicken”

You can’t even buy all food with food stamps. You just… you flat-out can’t buy “food that will be eaten in the store/any food sold for on-premises consumption” or any “hot foods” with food stamps—meaning you can’t buy anything hot, you can’t buy anything that gets blended together, you can’t buy anything “pre-prepared,” in most cases you can’t use your EBT card at restaurants. You literally CANNOT purchase a milkshake with food stamps, because it’s considered “sold for on-premises consumption” (which was ridiculous at the place I worked, because the customer had to mix their own milkshake themself with a little machine we provided them, and several people got upset—rightfully so, I think—that it wasn’t covered under food stamps, because they often only found out at the register after already mixing it, often as a treat for their kids). You literally can’t walk into a gas station, grab one of those hot dogs off their grills/out of the little heated food area, and buy it with food stamps, because it’s hot.

And when I say “can’t,” I don’t mean “if the cashier notices you trying and cares enough to stop you, they’ll refuse to do it for you.” I mean “it is actually impossible to do this.” I’m not even sure these people who disseminate false information about food stamps have paid any attention at all when buying things at the store, because what happens is: We scan in the customer’s items, into our computer. The computer has specific codes for the items and rules for what it will let you pay for things with. We scan the customer’s EBT card, and it tells us exactly how much of that price total can be paid for via EBT, and it will not include anything that isn’t food, and it will not include anything considered “pre-prepared” food. It does this automatically AND THERE IS NO OVERRIDE FOR IT. If our machines say that you can’t use the EBT card to pay for something, there is literally nothing we can do to change that, even if we WANTED to.

So no. You can’t buy iPads or cigarettes with food stamps. You can’t withdraw money from casinos or anywhere else with food stamps. You can’t buy dog food with food stamps; sometimes you can’t even buy people food with food stamps. I’m not even sure if you can buy “the big chicken legs” at Disney with food stamps; remember, you can’t buy “any food sold for on-premises consumption” OR any hot foods, and that’s both.

Literally the only thing these fearmongers listed that you can actually purchase with food stamps even if you are in goddamn cahoots with the evil liberal cashier or store manager is soda, and the judgement against people buying that with food stamps is classist fuckwittery at its finest.

So, as always, Fox News is actually flat-out lying, and hateful conservatives both don’t know what they’re talking about and don’t give a fuck about people going through shit that they will never have to go through themselves, and that they in fact don’t have even the tiniest clue about (not even via five seconds’ research; a list of things that can’t be purchased with food stamps is on the Food and Nutrition Services website) but still think they should spout off about to their TV audience anyway.

(Source: sandandglass, via iamlittlei)

Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive
Reblogged from mathhub

deewhydeetee:

mathhub:

A compilation of Professor Walter Lewins and some of his lectures at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). He draws some of the best lines, especially dashed lines — so fast that his hand isn’t even moving up and down to produce the dashes.

Walter Lewin’s line game is amazing.

what

Reblogged from kristinaadesuwa

societydefinedbeauty:

when you leave your three year old brother in your room with your mac. 

(Source: kristinaadesuwa, via mydrunkkitchen)