let me tell you a story

Val :: 21 :: MARRIED! to the most amazing woman imaginable :: writer :: teacher of toddlers :: ravenclaw :: nerdfighter :: happy now.

I want to lead a simple life.

9.15.13 [howexciting!] [we did it!]

I'm passionate about nurturing the minds of children and engaging in intellectual conversations.


This is the beginning of something wonderful.


Talk to Me =]  
Reblogged from kaliskadyami

shapefutures:

dduane:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

Yep.

My standard response to the little little friends (toddling through four) that I work with right now is to go, “Oh! Are you okay?” in as cheerfully curious a tone as possible, less like I’m worried because they fell and more like I’ve never seen anyone fall before and am not sure what just happened.

They smile, laugh, and pick themselves up to show me they can. So far the only time that hasn’t worked was when a two-year-old walked head-first into a high coffee-table.

(Source: kaliskadyami)

Reblogged from fuckyeahtattoos
fuckyeahtattoos:

Watercolor leaves painted by my client and I added a little background to it..
Tattooed by Leah Williams
Denver, CO - Instagram: @wench_tattoos

fuckyeahtattoos:

Watercolor leaves painted by my client and I added a little background to it..

Tattooed by Leah Williams

Denver, CO - Instagram: @wench_tattoos

Reblogged from overtheunderpass

overtheunderpass:

I was just introduced to this incredible Twitter account

(via edwardspoonhands)

Reblogged from e-l-e-g-ance
Reblogged from lizclimo
lizclimo:

lazy little genius 

lizclimo:

lazy little genius 

(via tastefullyoffensive)

Reblogged from tastefullyoffensive

tastefullyoffensive:

Animals in Complete Astonishment [imgur]

Previously: Animal Family Photos

Reblogged from expelliarmus
Reblogged from foreheadxkisses

phuckindop3:

dream-insilk:

foreheadxkisses:

Body comparisons. 

this makes me feel alive

obsessed with this

(via ghostofvangoghsear)

Reblogged from kittiezandtittiez

androdea:

accurate as fucking hell

(Source: kittiezandtittiez, via angrylittlelesbian)

Reblogged from lykuheko-deactivated20120517

>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” >my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”
>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”
>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”
>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”
>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”
>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”
>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”
>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”
>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”
>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”
>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”
>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”
>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”
>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”
>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”
>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”
>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”
>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”
>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”
>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”
>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” 
>my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”
>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”
>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”
>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

(via angrylittlelesbian)

Reblogged from asgardiantelevision

A limerick:

christel-thoughts:

toothlessrebel:

asgardiantelevision:

image

Doesn’t look like a limerick to you? Try this:

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

THE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCKKKKKKKmath

I’m so turned on right now.

(via deewhydeetee)

Reblogged from clientsfromhell

polar-bite:

clientsfromhell:

Client: Do you do lemonade?

Me: Do we do… lemonade?

Client: Yes, I was told you do that here.

Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.

Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot. 

Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -  

Client: Look If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!

Me: Do you mean… laminate?

RETAIL

(via attackonstudying)

Reblogged from bluskadoe
consultinghuntersofgallifrey:

chubbymon:

weezapalooza:

actualstalkertimothydrake:

THIS IS A LAMP

Wha?!?! Take my money!

Omfg! I could put it in my bookcase!

NEED

consultinghuntersofgallifrey:

chubbymon:

weezapalooza:

actualstalkertimothydrake:

THIS IS A LAMP

Wha?!?! Take my money!

Omfg! I could put it in my bookcase!

NEED

(Source: bluskadoe, via study-early)

Reblogged from theyuniversity

What’s up with “compliment” and “complement”?

theyuniversity:

Here’s the difference between compliment and complement:

image

image

image

imageYou won’t confuse these two words anymore, right?

image

(via doitforthea)

Reblogged from takealookatyourlife
gothamcityballet:

deafmuslimpunx:

exquisitedialectics:

takealookatyourlife:

Aiya Van Kooten everyone

When Aiya Van Kooten stood face-to-face with a burglar in her bedroom, her left eye twitched, then she went into “predator mode”.
“I screamed at him… jumped off my chair, leaped over my bed and sprinted after him down the stairs,” she said.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/8626910/Predator-mode-scares-off-burglars

This is the best story of my life

“Although she was the only one home, Van Kooten said she had no regard for her safety - instead, she said she was just overwhelmed with “rage“….. ummmmm Hero!!! 

Haha, badass Muslim woman. Love it!!!

This lady is so awesome. She lives with her grandma and was studying and had a towel on her head and no shoes but she chased them out of her garden, kicked one up the arse as he climbed a fence, they dropped a camera and laptop, she flagged down a passing driver to help her continue the pursuit, and it turned out he was ex-military, and they finally caught one of them in a park and pinned him as the police arrived. Now she’s going to visit the burglar in prison for the next few months to help with his rehabilitation.
So in summary:
This lady doesn’t just defend her home and loved ones, she will hunt you down, team up with other skilled individuals, get you put away, and then teach you the consequences of your actions until you’re a valuable member of society once more.
Seriously she’s a frigging superhero.

gothamcityballet:

deafmuslimpunx:

exquisitedialectics:

takealookatyourlife:

Aiya Van Kooten everyone

When Aiya Van Kooten stood face-to-face with a burglar in her bedroom, her left eye twitched, then she went into “predator mode”.

“I screamed at him… jumped off my chair, leaped over my bed and sprinted after him down the stairs,” she said.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/8626910/Predator-mode-scares-off-burglars

This is the best story of my life

Although she was the only one home, Van Kooten said she had no regard for her safety - instead, she said she was just overwhelmed with “rage“….. ummmmm Hero!!! 

Haha, badass Muslim woman. Love it!!!

This lady is so awesome. She lives with her grandma and was studying and had a towel on her head and no shoes but she chased them out of her garden, kicked one up the arse as he climbed a fence, they dropped a camera and laptop, she flagged down a passing driver to help her continue the pursuit, and it turned out he was ex-military, and they finally caught one of them in a park and pinned him as the police arrived. Now she’s going to visit the burglar in prison for the next few months to help with his rehabilitation.

So in summary:

This lady doesn’t just defend her home and loved ones, she will hunt you down, team up with other skilled individuals, get you put away, and then teach you the consequences of your actions until you’re a valuable member of society once more.

Seriously she’s a frigging superhero.

(Source: takealookatyourlife, via doitforthea)